I dated a guy once (years ago) for about 6 months. Everything seemed to be going well. We hung out often, we always had a great time, never argued, everything was real chill and fun. The relations were wonderful, and we expressed happy sentiments to one another. I was just starting to feel comfortable and think we were on the path to something delightful when one day, in an email, while i was at work, he told me that there just was no spark, there had never been one, and he was sorry.
needless to say I was a little perturbed. As far as I am concerned a spark is something that you feel early and you know inherently. The spark doesn't take months to build. It takes months to build deep seeded feelings or emotions towards another. But that spark? no that spark you can feel on the first date.
Its that tingle you get when he holds your hand. or the way your stomach drops like you're on a roller coaster when they look back at you. Its how excited you get when you see them, but you try to play it cool, because you don't want to act to silly. Those are all SPARK feelings, and then those lead to the CRUSH feelings... The CRUSH feelings are the fact that sometimes you feel like you could spend your whole day with this person, turn off the phone, shut the computer down, and blow off all responsibility. Its good conversation, comfortable silence, and a hug and kiss that make you feel safe enough to fall asleep next to this person at any time. Its all of these things and more wrapped up into one, its the whole reason that you want to spend time with someone in the first place. Without the spark, what point do we move forward from?
People strive for a spark... those that have been married for years are trying to learn how to get the spark back in their marriage. Its those initial feel good feelings. that permanent smile.
I can tell if there is a spark from our first meeting. I can tell if you are someone my interest would grow for or not (unless our first date or meeting goes horribly wrong and we have to give it another go). I don't know why but I have always had a gift of seeing beyond what people present to me. So while they may show me one side of themselves, I see the opposite. It could be part of the reason that I have dated people who everyone else thought were jerks, but I found sweet and kind deep down in side. Its because I saw past all the grime that was covering up the view they couldn't even see of themselves. Due to this fact we are all still able to be friends (give or take a few), and they are relationships I values.
Now that I've gotten off topic... lol. After me and the young man broke up...a few months later I saw him out and he proceeded to try to get back together with me. I asked him one simple question, "I thought you said we had no spark?". And he replied, " I was scared to commit, the spark was there from day one". interesting....**if you're a good woman, they always come back** (I've heard it said before)
needless to say we're not together. after careful examination he was not on the list of successful candidates for me. but during this 4 years of singleness, I have only felt the spark maybe 3 times. We are on time # 3 right now... slow and steady wins the race...
What is the spark to you...?
