Shouting from the Mountaintop

My parents and I had a discussion a few weeks ago about Tim Tebow and his zealousness for the Lord. My mother and I are all for it. This is the first time I have honestly seen a man so openly public in the sports world that lives his life so openly in love with God, and its ABOUT TIME! My dad, well, he wasn't so convinced. He thinks Tebow is great and that its great that he loves the Lord but at some point he needs to tone all this down. This conversation made me think, and I started to do some research...How much praising the lord is too much praising the lord?

Tim Tebow is getting a ton of media attention these days, as he pulls off miraculous come backs on the football field and continues to give all glory and honor for his feats to God and God only. It is clear to me that Tebow understands something that Kirk Franklin explained at one of his concerts; "we must not confuse our source with our resource". God is Tebow's source, football is the resource God provided. This is much different than the way most football players probably look at football. Football is their life, their source and their resource, which may be why people find the way Tebow approaches football and even life a little out of the ordinary. (Check the blog entitled "not being of this world")

But has Tebow, and Tebowing gone too far? Tim prays before each game in the end zone. If you interview him you can be sure God is coming up in the conversation. He's the son of missionaries, and a christian through and through. Shouldn't all of this be expected of him? Why is the world so shocked when someone actually says and acts in one accord? Maybe that's just it. He makes people uncomfortable by being that open about his faith. I mean he almost takes it back to old school biblical times. And I can understand how it could be just a little too much for people, but I also know from where he's sitting he is doing exactly what he is supposed to be doing.

 Of course he is a role model for our youth, and now Tebowing has become a popular trend. So while NFL players, coaches, analysts, and owners argue about whether Tebow prays too much or exalts God too much. And if God really does influence football in some way shape or form. Kids are taking to Tebowing in the halls of their school and getting suspended.

Tebowing, which is defined by urban dictionary (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Tebowing) as, "striking a pose of prayer, down on one knee". People aren't actually praying though, they are just striking the pose, similar to the once popular planking. In some instances now students who do this are getting suspended from school. In NY teens were suspended when a group of about 40 of them started Tebowing in the hallway. School officials say this causes a fire hazard. (http://rivals.yahoo.com/highschool/blog/prep_rally/post/N-Y-teens-suspended-for-Tebowing-in-school-hall?urn=highschool-wp9989) All of this makes me wonder what kind of influence is Tim Tebow having, or better yet do our youth truly understand what he stands for?


I would love to believe, actually let me rephrase that, I have to believe that the way we live our lives influences others to want to know why we are the way we are ("you think I'm so fresh you think I'm so clean
You think I'm so sweet It's the God in me"- Mary Mary). But i know too much professing can turn people off, and make them feel like we're fanatics. I'm just torn on the issue at times.

At the end of the day I can honestly say, I wish I was brave enough to be more like Tim Tebow ( he reminds me alot of my cousin Candace). To live what I believe outwardly and profess it everyday of my life. I also wish my relationship with God  was stronger than it is at times. I notice my faith can be shaky and I want it to be solid as a rock (I am aware this is a process). So Tim, if you haven't encouraged anyone else, you have encouraged me. I already dove into God at the beginning of this year and I will dive in again. I know faith is a journey and I will never give up. And I might not be as over zealous vocally as you, but I will shout from the mountaintop in my own way!

I know God is proud of you, I sure hope he's proud of me too. Keep your head up kiddo, you're fighting a battle and living in a world few people understand. And we don't live to please man.

I see you Tim, I see you!

I just can't remember...

Lately I have been feeling a little off.
Do you ever feel this way? You know when life has you on this high and you are doing everything you want to do and everything you are supposed to do and then you suddenly realize you've lost focus, or just gotten into a rut? I think the ruts in life are normal. But I hate them.

Ruts have me driving home from work, listening to Jill Scott, talking to myself sorting out my thoughts and feelings.

Ruts make me mad because they open my eyes to the fact that maybe it might suck that I am this in tune with my feelings, that I am able to feel other people's emotions so deeply, and that I see situations for exactly what they are (even thought I wish so badly for them to be different).

I know I talk alot about my search for love in this crazy dating world. And in 4 years I have thought that I've come close to putting my finger on it, and then poof. I asked a friend the other day if he got tired of reading my blogs, because I sound like a whiny old hag. but he said I simply sound like someone who likes someone and wants them to like her back.

and this my friends, this is true. I'm also someone who is scared to death of what she is feeling right now. I've expressed it, I've told him. You know I have a problem keeping it to myself. But alas, those feelings are not yet reciprocated. And maybe it just takes people a little longer to get there. Just don't ask me to be open, don't tell me you won't hurt me, if its not true.

 I've always been pretty open to sharing my life with another person, and when I find someone to spend my time with I just want to envelope them in. But not everyone is like this. So I can understand why you aren't here feeling this with me right now, and I'm sorry this rant sounds a little insecure. (I never promised I was perfect).

And I know some people feel there is a due date by the time that we should be official, or have done this or that. But there really is something beautiful about taking your time. Even if we never get to a point of being together, at least I opened up to someone new. And its always good to open up. (my heart panged when I said that). Because I  know that things will go one of two ways.

And like I always tell my best, "I know this stops hurting after a while, I just can't remember when". Honestly I'd rather not feel that again.
And I just hope one day someone will be as excited, and anxious, and nervous about me again, as I am about you right now...