Superstar thinks that I think things should go a certain way all the time. You know, like things should follow a certain pattern, path or plan. I don't agree. I can honestly say I have been this way in the past, I am a planner. I normally like things a certain way all the time, planned out to a T. But the last few relationships, and these last couple of years, threw my planning personality out the window. I guess now I am just used to certain things happening certain ways, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I think that is how things are supposed to go ALL the time.
It makes me think though, are we as women conditioned to think that dating should follow a certain pattern or flow? Like by this date this should happen, after this amount of time he should be my boyfriend, etc....
We are. We are conditioned to think this way. And it is this type of thinking that can ultimately lead to our demise in relationships. We are always thinking in the back of our minds of the clock that is ticking on some deadline that is supposed to be happening in our current "relationship", that we can't focus on our present happiness.
I used to worry constantly about every little thing in relationships. When the next step would come, when would I be able to feel secure. But the truth is, we can never really be sure of anything. Even your husband can leave. The only thing we can be sure of is God's love, and the love we have for our self. So why are we putting so much pressure on relationships, and them working out in an exactly scientific way.
every situation we are in with another human being should teach us something. This is something that I have come to learn over the years. And all of my relationships are a lesson for me. I'm not used to people taking their time with me, normally things move very fast. I don't get all this extra time to scope out the situation and make sure its right, for me.
One of the things I am learning from spending time with superstar is #1. to go with the flow. #2. to take my time #3. not to take things so serious #4. that its OK to be the real me with more than just a handful of people.
I let go of my preconceived notions. Things can't follow a map, they will just happen as they may. And wherever this road leads, I just have to say I love every minute of this learning experience. I love the wait, the anticipation, the excitement, the buildup, to what is coming next. It makes me feel like I'm 17 again. I have no idea what is going to happen next, all I know is most moments I am very happy, just looking at that smile.
*don't follow a road map, just let it flow, get on my level ;)*
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