the truth is...
everything isn't as easy as it seems...i am on this journey with god and trying to learn to trust and follow him and its hard...because i am so stressed alll the time.. and when i say all the time i mean all the time..
its to the point where i can't even remember what being happy feels like..
today i was filling out job applications and i just started crying. i was thinking about almost everyone else i know. and how everyone seems to be doing great. their lives seem to be moving forward and going wonderfully. new jobs, new babies, new loves, just moving forward in these wonderful ways, with great things to look forward to.
and i just feel stuck. stuck in the same place everyday. dreading waking up and going to work. dreading not doing well at my job. hoping someone offers me a job that i can do well at and still make some decent money. i'm alone a majority of the time. and not really by choice, just all my friends and even family are wrapped up in their own lives and thats to be expected.
i just could use some favor, some blessings some miracles. the presence of god to comfort me so i don't feel so alone. less stress. some supernatural car repairs. it'd be nice to have some light shine down on me.
i'll never give up hope, i'll never believe that god has forsaken me. but i have my days. and lately those days seem to be everyday.
just waiting for my turn...
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