My July 2nd thoughts

I wrote this today....


You came back today
it was the first time I'd seen you in 5 days

and it was the first time in 3 weeks
that my heart didn't jump
frightened
scared
worried
of what may happen today

I guess I've been
debating over this
praying
trying to figure it out

the time we spent
was brief
but your impact
was grim

today I saw you for who you are
not who I think you could be

But better yet
today I see myself for who I am
and I understand what I can
and cannot accept.
What I will and will not allow.

and its ok that you hurt me
its even ok that you choose not to acknowledge me
my mistake, I got this close to letting you in

lesson learned, again.
check mate

and I move on
better than yesterday.